Welcome!
My name is Ray, and I'll be your guide through the life and events of a Transman living in the 21st Century.
What is a Transman? That can be a very subjective question. To describe a Transman in relation to myself, I would say a Transman is an individual who was born physically into the world as a female, and is currently, or has previously taken medical/social/mental steps in a transition to become a male.
In saying that, it is then that arguments can arise as to what characterizes a male or a female. If an individual persons firmly states that they identify, or that they are, a specific gender, or no specific gender - that is the truth.
In the 21st Century, gender is a subjective thing. To hit back at any critics; no, this is not a bad thing. How can I be so sure? Gender as a subjective entity has arisen following the breakdown of traditional gender roles throughout modern history, and by breaking down traditional gender roles, are we not also deconstructing what it means to be a woman or a man?
Reproductive organs does not define a person's gender, nor their gender identity. If you were to pass me in the street, speak to me over the phone, see me functioning on a day-to-day basis, you would see that I am purely a male. If you were to be informed of my reproductive organs, you'd be shocked, but you would not consider me a female, because that is not who I am at all.
So now to my transition.
I begun my paper work trail of medical transition at the very end of 2012. Very fittingly, this corresponded with the 'alleged' end of the world - perhaps also the end of my female life. But of course the world continued, and unfortunately part of my existence as a female continued as well.
I attended about 6 months of basic counselling in 2013, as my counsellor wanted me to first overcome my Clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety, before he was comfortable referring me to a Transgender-experienced Psychiatrist.
Eventually in mid-2013 I travelled a few hours North by train to visit Dr Stephen Koder, a well practiced Psychiatrist who worked once a week through Camperdown Headspace. There I was informed I first had to see a GP within Headspace who spent an hour taking down my life story, before telling me to come back for the next available appointment to see Dr Koder.. three months away.
Three agonising months later, I sat nervously in his office for him to tell me something I had known for at least 10 months now - "Ray you suffer from Gender Dysphoria."
Fast forward to the beginning of 2014, I had moved to another state, and after weeks of searching, making calls and being redirected to person after person, I sat in Dr JD Wilsons office; an Endocrinologist. He informed me he was not comfortable starting me on Injectable hormones straight up, in case I 'changed my mind.' So for three months every morning I applied a cold gel form of hormones onto my skin, known as Testo Gel.
Despite my belief that the gel would do little for me as the dosage was lower and had to be absorbed - the changes came quickly.
Within the first week my voice began to drop, within the first three weeks I had facial hair growing, I expected my period exactly a month after starting and it never came, along with working out the in the gym (in which I already did) my muscle tone increased, my shoulders widened, my jaw line widened, and my libido and appetite increased a noticeable amount.
Fast forward to mid 2014 and we stop at today.
Later today I will have my first Injectable dose of Testosterone known as "Reandron" by a GP who has experience working with Transgender people; Dr Soo.
On the 11th of this month (July) I will travel to Sydney to have a male chest constructed with Dr Vlad Milovic.
As I stand here and write, I know my process hasn't been as long as other Transmen, but for me it feels like it has been half a life-time, and it is crazy awesome to think that within just two weeks (even less!) I will be two thirds of the way to becoming the man I really am.
Check back for my next blog discussing my T-shot and the weirdness of having a butt injection!
