I begun Hormone Replacement Therapy on 28th February 2014.
My Endocrinologist (Dr JD Wilson) said he would only start me on Testogel, as the effects of one dose, which is applied daily, last only 24 hours. That way, if I "change my mind" I could easily revert any changes.
I took applied one 5mg satchet of Testogel every day for a period of 3 and a half months, before finally getting my prescription for my first Testosterone injection - which is a 4mL injection of Reandron.
I visited a new Doctor for this shot, as I usually skip between any bulk-billing Doctors who can fit me in on the day. My new (and now, regular) doctor - Dr Tuck Meng Soo - has experience with Transgender patients, and I felt that paying roughly $100 for a visit and injection would be worth it, as he is not only accepting/understanding, but can accurately monitor the injection effects and my medical transition.
So, my Endocrinologist gave me a prescription for the Reandron shot, which I got made up at the chemist (RRP $147 - as I am on Government benefits/concession I paid a mere $6) and took to my appointment. First I chatted with Dr Soo and gave him my medical history, and explained my medical transition and that I was here for the Reandron shot. It was great to finally have a Doctor who knew more about Transgender Medical Transitions then myself - which was the result of any GP 99% of the time.
He then showed me to a bigger room with numerous beds, and explained that a nurse would be along shortly to administer the injection.
Both Dr Soo and my nurse explained that because the shot would be intramuscular (into my butt) the needle would be fairly big, and to expect a decent amount of pain. So I rolled over on one side, dropped my dacks and in the needle went (I didn't look at the size of the needle - I figured if I didn't see it I could pretend it was tiny.)
It really didn't hurt that much. The injection is a slow release, and because of the needles size/the size of the injectable liquid, the nurse also injected the liquid slowly; it took around about two minutes. When she pulled the needle out was when it hurt the most. For anyone who has had a tattoo, it does not hurt anymore than the tattoo gun. It can also be related to having blood out for donations or blood tests, the only difference is the length of time you feel the needle, and the unusual feeling of having a needle go into a muscle.
Afterwards I drove the short distance home, it wasn't overly uncomfortable to be sitting down. It took about two days before I felt a bit of discomfort where the injection had been, and that lasted two to three days. I would say it is similar to getting corked, but in the butt!
At the moment I am scheduled to have 1 Reandron injection every three months, but that is subject to the results of my blood test when I go in for my next shot. I will keep this blog updated!
The 21st Century Transman
Saturday, 23 August 2014
Friday, 22 August 2014
Transition Comparisons
I have been photographing my physical changes from day 1 transition to the body I should have been born into. Here are some comparison shots.
It can be useful to note the following;
- I begun using T-Gel on 28th Feb 2014
- I stopped T-Gel and had my first Reandron shot on 3rd July 2014
- I had Chest Surgery (Double Bilateral Mastectomy) on 11th July 2014
It can be useful to note the following;
- I begun using T-Gel on 28th Feb 2014
- I stopped T-Gel and had my first Reandron shot on 3rd July 2014
- I had Chest Surgery (Double Bilateral Mastectomy) on 11th July 2014
Sunday, 17 August 2014
36 Days Post-Op
Today I am 36 days post-op for my chest surgery with Dr Vlad Milovic, and I am feeling great!
I have been back at work for 3 weeks now, and theres not a lot I cannot do. I am still restricted with my arm movements above shoulder/head height, and with lifting heavy weights.
With arm movements above shoulder height, until about 1 week post-op there was simply none of it. But from 1 week post-op onward, I found I was slowly able to increase my arm lifting height (with less pain). Eventually I was able to do things like reach coat hangers in my wardrobe, reach up to grab a plate from the cupboard etc etc.
I have pushed the point and found I can actually lift 25kg (for a few seconds assisting my mate at the gym) but in terms of working out at the gym myself, for upper body exercises I have found so far I can only do dumbbell bicep curls with about 5-8kg each dumbbell.
..However, it is not recommended to do neither heavy lifting or reaching above shoulder height as you risk stretching the scars.
My scars are healing well, and while i still have a bit of swelling, there is next to no pain anymore. Since surgery, my drainage bag for my right pec was always full of more blood, and consistently my right pec has been more swollen than my left.
After surgery I woke up in a surgical compression vest, which my surgeon asked me to wear for as long as possible to minimise swelling. At week 5, I begun wearing it only during the day and taking it off too sleep.
A few days ago, I tried leaving it off for an entire day and night. The result was my right pec's swelling flaring up, which obviously is not good, but shows that the compression vest does work!
Here is a picture of my chest at 1 month post op (with silicone strips over my scars.)
I see my surgeon again this Friday 22nd, exactly at my 6 weeks post op date.
I have been back at work for 3 weeks now, and theres not a lot I cannot do. I am still restricted with my arm movements above shoulder/head height, and with lifting heavy weights.
With arm movements above shoulder height, until about 1 week post-op there was simply none of it. But from 1 week post-op onward, I found I was slowly able to increase my arm lifting height (with less pain). Eventually I was able to do things like reach coat hangers in my wardrobe, reach up to grab a plate from the cupboard etc etc.
I have pushed the point and found I can actually lift 25kg (for a few seconds assisting my mate at the gym) but in terms of working out at the gym myself, for upper body exercises I have found so far I can only do dumbbell bicep curls with about 5-8kg each dumbbell.
..However, it is not recommended to do neither heavy lifting or reaching above shoulder height as you risk stretching the scars.
My scars are healing well, and while i still have a bit of swelling, there is next to no pain anymore. Since surgery, my drainage bag for my right pec was always full of more blood, and consistently my right pec has been more swollen than my left.
After surgery I woke up in a surgical compression vest, which my surgeon asked me to wear for as long as possible to minimise swelling. At week 5, I begun wearing it only during the day and taking it off too sleep.
A few days ago, I tried leaving it off for an entire day and night. The result was my right pec's swelling flaring up, which obviously is not good, but shows that the compression vest does work!
Here is a picture of my chest at 1 month post op (with silicone strips over my scars.)
I see my surgeon again this Friday 22nd, exactly at my 6 weeks post op date.
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Monday, 28 July 2014
My Chest Surgery in Canberra, Australia
I had my chest surgery (Double Subcutaneous Mastectomy) on Friday 11th July in Canberra Private Hospital.
On the Thursday I was given an admission time of 7:30am, so I was up and nervous bright an early on Friday! My sister and mum accompanied me to the Hospital, where I came across payment difficulties as my card had a $1000 limit - despite my perception that I had increased it.
Once the money was sorted, we were shown to my room to wait for a nurse/further instruction. Upon first sight of my room - I was ecstatic! My own room (no sharing) it was fairly big, (free) TV with all normal fee-to-air stations, large bathroom, the bed that moves electronically plus a massive window with a half decent view! I wasn't sure what I expected, I suppose I was thinking about Shoalhaven Hospital where my Dad had been not long ago sharing a room with four other people and paying $10 per day for TV.
So in my room we waited. And waited... and waited. Finally at about 11am a nurse came to check my blood pressure and have me fill out the last of (many) medical forms. Before leaving she handed over the fashionable white gown, red hair net and white pressure socks!

As the nurse begun to wheel me out the door my mum stopped her for one last hug - then tried to assist in wheeling my bed away but to no avail - I think she had trouble coming to terms with the fact that YES I was finally getting my surgery after 2 years of trying to have it booked in!
I was taken down a floor in an elevator, then taken to a room where they closed a curtin around me and informed me someone would be with me shortly. Within 15 minutes a young nurse fiddled around my bed with paperwork and medications, chatting briefly and explaining she would assist in the surgery.
Not long after she took me into the Anaesthetist's office, where between the tiny crack in the doors in front of me, I could just make out surgeons and other assistants bustling around the bright room. I waited there for about 45 minutes, slowly working myself up with nerves and excitement, and looking at all the prep gear around me; needles, swabs, draws upon draws of medically label paraphernalia and warning memo's of all types.
Finally my surgeons stocky figure appeared at the door way and he entered in his white coat and blue cap, grinning calmly. He sat down in front of me, asking if I had changed my mind (not the first time.) Once again I smiled and replied 'no.' With that, he took a permanent marker to my chest, and measured out his incision spots, folding my breast tissue here, making a mark over there, prodding and probing all over the shop. When he finished I was an artists sketchbook, but even more so excited for the outcome ahead. Up he got, and as he headed back out the doors in front of me, he arched back in and said 'sweet dreams!'
Within a minute or two my Anaesthetist entered. She was an older woman, and sat beside me to explain her fees and talk briefly about her medical history/experience and what her role in my surgery was. As she begun putting a cannula into my hand, she said the liquid she was pumping inside me would calm me down and make me feel drowsy, then they would wheel me into the theatre room before injecting the Anesthetic that would put me under.
And from there on in, my memory gets foggy! I remember feeling tired almost instantly, for anyone who has even been stoned, I had the same heavy/lowered eye lids. I believe at the time I was functioning close to normal, but now that I am thinking back I barely remember much. The last thing I remember (before waking back up) is looking up to see two bright lights above me, and having nurses wheel some form of bed or platform beside me and explaining I needed to move myself onto it. Then boom! Thats the last thing I remember!
Upon waking up, I was so super thirsty (a given though, from fasting from food/water for 12 hours plus having the air tube down my throat during surgery.) I was in a near empty room, and beckoned the nurse over asking for water, who then held a cup up to my mouth for me to sip from. Then I put my oxygen mask back on, and fell straight back asleep.
Later on - i assume at least an hour later - another nurse wheeled me out of the recovery room and back to my hospital room where my sister and Mum were waiting anxiously. I was still very drowsy, but able to inform them I felt good, not much pain (if any) and after briefly chatting they left for a few hours while I slept.

After a few hours of dozing on and off, I awoke feeling a bit rested, and inspected myself.
The first thing I noticed was I had leg compressors on; similar to the type of contraption a Doctor or GP would measure your blood pressure with - only they were hooked up to a whirring machine making constant (low pitch) but annoying sounds. Then I checked out my drains, they were hanging off my bed rails, and they were small plastic purple container type things, each with a measured bag hanging from the bottom of that. The drains were connected to my sides, and as I followed them up to my body, I realised I was wearing my surgical compression vest I had paid for a few days earlier at my surgeons office. Apparently they had dressed me in it while I was still out of it! Additionally the cannula in my hand was annoying and uncomfortable.
Later on in the evening my mum and sister visited again, nurses and doctors checked up on me regularly, giving me antibiotics, pain medications and checking my heart rate and all the vitals. Unfortunately for the larger part of the 48 hours following my surgery my heart rate was very high. My nurses said it was nothing to worry about however - this was my first time in hospital (besides being born) therefore first surgery, first time under anaesthesia and my body was probably responding in a bit of a panic.
When a nurse finally brought dinner in, I just could not find my appetite, despite my love of food and knowing I'd regret it later. Because it was fish, after 20 mins the nurse came back and said she'd have to take it from me. The only side dish I was allowed to keep was the lemon cheesecake. Which I devoured later on at about 1am. I barely slept that first night of post-op. I woke up nearly every hour on the hour. And when my body wasn't waking me up from discomfort, it was a nurse waking me up to check my heart rate and blood pressure, or other patients pressing the 'nurse assistant' button that sounded over the entire floor.
At about mid night (or was it 2am? I had no idea) the rostered nurses swapped over, and my new nurse was lovely. She was explaining how she did not have time for dinner, and I offered her some jelly beans my sister had left for me - then instantly we were friends. She kept coming to check my heart rate, and we chatted and joked throughout the early morning. Without her company and my lack of shut-eye, I probably would have died of boredom!

I stayed in Hospital for a total of two nights, and on the third day (Sunday) my Surgeon breifly visited me to inform me he was happy for me to be discharged, but that I would have to keep my drains in until Tuesday, and visit him at his practice to have them taken out.
On the Thursday I was given an admission time of 7:30am, so I was up and nervous bright an early on Friday! My sister and mum accompanied me to the Hospital, where I came across payment difficulties as my card had a $1000 limit - despite my perception that I had increased it.
Once the money was sorted, we were shown to my room to wait for a nurse/further instruction. Upon first sight of my room - I was ecstatic! My own room (no sharing) it was fairly big, (free) TV with all normal fee-to-air stations, large bathroom, the bed that moves electronically plus a massive window with a half decent view! I wasn't sure what I expected, I suppose I was thinking about Shoalhaven Hospital where my Dad had been not long ago sharing a room with four other people and paying $10 per day for TV.
So in my room we waited. And waited... and waited. Finally at about 11am a nurse came to check my blood pressure and have me fill out the last of (many) medical forms. Before leaving she handed over the fashionable white gown, red hair net and white pressure socks!
Then she left, and we waited some more. It begun to get cold, and my mum grabbed some blankets fresh from the Hospital's oven-like dryer, and I feel asleep under the immense cosy-ness.
Then I awoke to a nurse loudly entering, fussing over my paperwork and explaining she was ready to take me to theatre. My stomach erupted with butterflies and my Mum and sister hugged me goodbye.As the nurse begun to wheel me out the door my mum stopped her for one last hug - then tried to assist in wheeling my bed away but to no avail - I think she had trouble coming to terms with the fact that YES I was finally getting my surgery after 2 years of trying to have it booked in!
I was taken down a floor in an elevator, then taken to a room where they closed a curtin around me and informed me someone would be with me shortly. Within 15 minutes a young nurse fiddled around my bed with paperwork and medications, chatting briefly and explaining she would assist in the surgery.
Not long after she took me into the Anaesthetist's office, where between the tiny crack in the doors in front of me, I could just make out surgeons and other assistants bustling around the bright room. I waited there for about 45 minutes, slowly working myself up with nerves and excitement, and looking at all the prep gear around me; needles, swabs, draws upon draws of medically label paraphernalia and warning memo's of all types.
Finally my surgeons stocky figure appeared at the door way and he entered in his white coat and blue cap, grinning calmly. He sat down in front of me, asking if I had changed my mind (not the first time.) Once again I smiled and replied 'no.' With that, he took a permanent marker to my chest, and measured out his incision spots, folding my breast tissue here, making a mark over there, prodding and probing all over the shop. When he finished I was an artists sketchbook, but even more so excited for the outcome ahead. Up he got, and as he headed back out the doors in front of me, he arched back in and said 'sweet dreams!'
Within a minute or two my Anaesthetist entered. She was an older woman, and sat beside me to explain her fees and talk briefly about her medical history/experience and what her role in my surgery was. As she begun putting a cannula into my hand, she said the liquid she was pumping inside me would calm me down and make me feel drowsy, then they would wheel me into the theatre room before injecting the Anesthetic that would put me under.
And from there on in, my memory gets foggy! I remember feeling tired almost instantly, for anyone who has even been stoned, I had the same heavy/lowered eye lids. I believe at the time I was functioning close to normal, but now that I am thinking back I barely remember much. The last thing I remember (before waking back up) is looking up to see two bright lights above me, and having nurses wheel some form of bed or platform beside me and explaining I needed to move myself onto it. Then boom! Thats the last thing I remember!
Upon waking up, I was so super thirsty (a given though, from fasting from food/water for 12 hours plus having the air tube down my throat during surgery.) I was in a near empty room, and beckoned the nurse over asking for water, who then held a cup up to my mouth for me to sip from. Then I put my oxygen mask back on, and fell straight back asleep.
Later on - i assume at least an hour later - another nurse wheeled me out of the recovery room and back to my hospital room where my sister and Mum were waiting anxiously. I was still very drowsy, but able to inform them I felt good, not much pain (if any) and after briefly chatting they left for a few hours while I slept.
After a few hours of dozing on and off, I awoke feeling a bit rested, and inspected myself.
The first thing I noticed was I had leg compressors on; similar to the type of contraption a Doctor or GP would measure your blood pressure with - only they were hooked up to a whirring machine making constant (low pitch) but annoying sounds. Then I checked out my drains, they were hanging off my bed rails, and they were small plastic purple container type things, each with a measured bag hanging from the bottom of that. The drains were connected to my sides, and as I followed them up to my body, I realised I was wearing my surgical compression vest I had paid for a few days earlier at my surgeons office. Apparently they had dressed me in it while I was still out of it! Additionally the cannula in my hand was annoying and uncomfortable.
Later on in the evening my mum and sister visited again, nurses and doctors checked up on me regularly, giving me antibiotics, pain medications and checking my heart rate and all the vitals. Unfortunately for the larger part of the 48 hours following my surgery my heart rate was very high. My nurses said it was nothing to worry about however - this was my first time in hospital (besides being born) therefore first surgery, first time under anaesthesia and my body was probably responding in a bit of a panic.
At about mid night (or was it 2am? I had no idea) the rostered nurses swapped over, and my new nurse was lovely. She was explaining how she did not have time for dinner, and I offered her some jelly beans my sister had left for me - then instantly we were friends. She kept coming to check my heart rate, and we chatted and joked throughout the early morning. Without her company and my lack of shut-eye, I probably would have died of boredom!
I stayed in Hospital for a total of two nights, and on the third day (Sunday) my Surgeon breifly visited me to inform me he was happy for me to be discharged, but that I would have to keep my drains in until Tuesday, and visit him at his practice to have them taken out.
Thursday, 3 July 2014
Youtube: Raymond James
The best way to see my changes through out my transition is really from my Youtube Videos.
I only have a few at the moment, but I will be uploading more as I transition.
My favourite is my video describing my changes with the use of Testo Gel. I have watched many videos and read many blogs by Transman who put T-Gel at the bottom of the list for effectiveness, or choice of hormone administering.
For me personally, T-Gel has been great and I want to share my experiences so that if other Transman only have access to the gel (be it because of their Endocrinologist's decision, financial matters etc) they can have some info and they know that not all hopes are lost!
Subscribe to my channel: Raymond James
Subscribe to my channel: Raymond James
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Wednesday, 2 July 2014
Privacy
I am running this blog, along with my Youtube and Instagram accounts (see links in right hand panel under 'Social Media') to give information to other members of the LGBTQI* community.
The one thing that peeves me off the most, is people from my past life, prying into my social media accounts to get a low down on what I am like now.
Dear people, if we don't talk anymore, we're not friends. If you haven't bothered to keep in contact with me throughout my transition, its to late, I don't want to hear from you, and you don't know me just because you've stalked through my Social Media accounts.
Thank you and good day!
The one thing that peeves me off the most, is people from my past life, prying into my social media accounts to get a low down on what I am like now.
Dear people, if we don't talk anymore, we're not friends. If you haven't bothered to keep in contact with me throughout my transition, its to late, I don't want to hear from you, and you don't know me just because you've stalked through my Social Media accounts.
Thank you and good day!
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Welcome
Welcome!
My name is Ray, and I'll be your guide through the life and events of a Transman living in the 21st Century.
What is a Transman? That can be a very subjective question. To describe a Transman in relation to myself, I would say a Transman is an individual who was born physically into the world as a female, and is currently, or has previously taken medical/social/mental steps in a transition to become a male.
In saying that, it is then that arguments can arise as to what characterizes a male or a female. If an individual persons firmly states that they identify, or that they are, a specific gender, or no specific gender - that is the truth.
In the 21st Century, gender is a subjective thing. To hit back at any critics; no, this is not a bad thing. How can I be so sure? Gender as a subjective entity has arisen following the breakdown of traditional gender roles throughout modern history, and by breaking down traditional gender roles, are we not also deconstructing what it means to be a woman or a man?
Reproductive organs does not define a person's gender, nor their gender identity. If you were to pass me in the street, speak to me over the phone, see me functioning on a day-to-day basis, you would see that I am purely a male. If you were to be informed of my reproductive organs, you'd be shocked, but you would not consider me a female, because that is not who I am at all.
So now to my transition.
I begun my paper work trail of medical transition at the very end of 2012. Very fittingly, this corresponded with the 'alleged' end of the world - perhaps also the end of my female life. But of course the world continued, and unfortunately part of my existence as a female continued as well.
I attended about 6 months of basic counselling in 2013, as my counsellor wanted me to first overcome my Clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety, before he was comfortable referring me to a Transgender-experienced Psychiatrist.
Eventually in mid-2013 I travelled a few hours North by train to visit Dr Stephen Koder, a well practiced Psychiatrist who worked once a week through Camperdown Headspace. There I was informed I first had to see a GP within Headspace who spent an hour taking down my life story, before telling me to come back for the next available appointment to see Dr Koder.. three months away.
Three agonising months later, I sat nervously in his office for him to tell me something I had known for at least 10 months now - "Ray you suffer from Gender Dysphoria."
Fast forward to the beginning of 2014, I had moved to another state, and after weeks of searching, making calls and being redirected to person after person, I sat in Dr JD Wilsons office; an Endocrinologist. He informed me he was not comfortable starting me on Injectable hormones straight up, in case I 'changed my mind.' So for three months every morning I applied a cold gel form of hormones onto my skin, known as Testo Gel.
Despite my belief that the gel would do little for me as the dosage was lower and had to be absorbed - the changes came quickly.
Within the first week my voice began to drop, within the first three weeks I had facial hair growing, I expected my period exactly a month after starting and it never came, along with working out the in the gym (in which I already did) my muscle tone increased, my shoulders widened, my jaw line widened, and my libido and appetite increased a noticeable amount.
Fast forward to mid 2014 and we stop at today.
Later today I will have my first Injectable dose of Testosterone known as "Reandron" by a GP who has experience working with Transgender people; Dr Soo.
On the 11th of this month (July) I will travel to Sydney to have a male chest constructed with Dr Vlad Milovic.
As I stand here and write, I know my process hasn't been as long as other Transmen, but for me it feels like it has been half a life-time, and it is crazy awesome to think that within just two weeks (even less!) I will be two thirds of the way to becoming the man I really am.
Check back for my next blog discussing my T-shot and the weirdness of having a butt injection!
My name is Ray, and I'll be your guide through the life and events of a Transman living in the 21st Century.
What is a Transman? That can be a very subjective question. To describe a Transman in relation to myself, I would say a Transman is an individual who was born physically into the world as a female, and is currently, or has previously taken medical/social/mental steps in a transition to become a male.
In saying that, it is then that arguments can arise as to what characterizes a male or a female. If an individual persons firmly states that they identify, or that they are, a specific gender, or no specific gender - that is the truth.
In the 21st Century, gender is a subjective thing. To hit back at any critics; no, this is not a bad thing. How can I be so sure? Gender as a subjective entity has arisen following the breakdown of traditional gender roles throughout modern history, and by breaking down traditional gender roles, are we not also deconstructing what it means to be a woman or a man?
Reproductive organs does not define a person's gender, nor their gender identity. If you were to pass me in the street, speak to me over the phone, see me functioning on a day-to-day basis, you would see that I am purely a male. If you were to be informed of my reproductive organs, you'd be shocked, but you would not consider me a female, because that is not who I am at all.
So now to my transition.
I begun my paper work trail of medical transition at the very end of 2012. Very fittingly, this corresponded with the 'alleged' end of the world - perhaps also the end of my female life. But of course the world continued, and unfortunately part of my existence as a female continued as well.
I attended about 6 months of basic counselling in 2013, as my counsellor wanted me to first overcome my Clinically diagnosed depression and anxiety, before he was comfortable referring me to a Transgender-experienced Psychiatrist.
Eventually in mid-2013 I travelled a few hours North by train to visit Dr Stephen Koder, a well practiced Psychiatrist who worked once a week through Camperdown Headspace. There I was informed I first had to see a GP within Headspace who spent an hour taking down my life story, before telling me to come back for the next available appointment to see Dr Koder.. three months away.
Three agonising months later, I sat nervously in his office for him to tell me something I had known for at least 10 months now - "Ray you suffer from Gender Dysphoria."
Fast forward to the beginning of 2014, I had moved to another state, and after weeks of searching, making calls and being redirected to person after person, I sat in Dr JD Wilsons office; an Endocrinologist. He informed me he was not comfortable starting me on Injectable hormones straight up, in case I 'changed my mind.' So for three months every morning I applied a cold gel form of hormones onto my skin, known as Testo Gel.
Despite my belief that the gel would do little for me as the dosage was lower and had to be absorbed - the changes came quickly.
Within the first week my voice began to drop, within the first three weeks I had facial hair growing, I expected my period exactly a month after starting and it never came, along with working out the in the gym (in which I already did) my muscle tone increased, my shoulders widened, my jaw line widened, and my libido and appetite increased a noticeable amount.
Fast forward to mid 2014 and we stop at today.
Later today I will have my first Injectable dose of Testosterone known as "Reandron" by a GP who has experience working with Transgender people; Dr Soo.
On the 11th of this month (July) I will travel to Sydney to have a male chest constructed with Dr Vlad Milovic.
As I stand here and write, I know my process hasn't been as long as other Transmen, but for me it feels like it has been half a life-time, and it is crazy awesome to think that within just two weeks (even less!) I will be two thirds of the way to becoming the man I really am.
Check back for my next blog discussing my T-shot and the weirdness of having a butt injection!
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